Reasons We Achieve
“What are overachievers afraid of?”
Brian and I were hammering out the details for the audience of my content - which nice coincidence, we also both happen to qualify as—high achievers. This means that if what we identified rang true for us we could run with it.
“Failure” I said
Brian started, “We can’t build up from there…”
“You’re right, and actually that’s not true is it? I’m ok if I fail as long as it was a spectacular fail. What I’m really most scared of is being “meh.’”
The effect of saying “meh” out loud hit us both pretty hard. We both immediately leaned away as if there was something disgusting on the table.
But what is “meh?”
Here’s a couple of ways “meh” manifested for us:
1) We feel “meh” if we didn’t feel like we gave our absolute best.
2) We feel “meh” when we let others down.
3) We feel “meh” when we lose progress or waste time
The 2x2 achievement goal model by Elliot and McGregor (2001) explains 4 different ways we may work towards our goals:
Performance Approach
Performance Avoidance
Mastery Approach
Mastery Avoidance
First, let’s outline our standard for comparison or standard for measuring our accomplishment: performance and mastery. By “performance” we mean “in relation to others” – or how well do I measure up to the other people who are accomplishing this task? By “mastery” we mean in relation either to the task itself or to our own progress on the task.
Then, we must understand the valence or feeling behind what we’re doing – is it positive or is it negative? This is where we get approach or avoidance in the model. With approach we are moving toward a positive outcome and with avoidance we are avoiding a negative outcome.
So, here’s some examples:
A performance approach goal is one in which I want to win first place. I want to be the best compared to others. This is how I will measure my success.
Performance avoidance, however, is illustrated by being happy by simply not coming in last.
Since mastery approach is focused on the task or myself, I’ll feel successful if I gave my best or if I improved over the last time I tried (hello one of our definitions of avoiding “meh”).
Mastery avoidance is being happy that the task wasn’t a complete disaster.
How does this play out for overachievers? Well, using my short story, we can show how people in each of these brackets may lean into their goals: 1) of not being or doing our best 2) of not letting others down, and 3) of not going backwards/wasting time.
To avoid being less than our best we may move towards a performance approach goal (being better than others as a way to prove we are the best). (In my opinion, this is where over-achievers get a bad rap). Sometimes this plays out in a mastery avoidance as some over achievers may not even start a task that they will not excel at (and therefore avoid the embarrassment of not being able to master something.) Hopefully, however, we’ll use a mastery approach to help us find the good in giving our best (no matter the outcome) and learning from our mistakes.
In saying that we don’t want to let others down, we may be moving toward a performance avoidance mindset. “As long as I don’t let mom down, I’ll be happy…” When we feel like excellence is not in our reach, we may switch to doing the bare minimum of tasks so that at least we aren’t letting others down (mastery avoidance). Often even, overachievers see a strong responsibility to be good at what they do so that others can rely on them (which has both mastery approach and performance approach undertones to it).
For our last one, “not wanting to go backwards or waste time,” again, we can see how we may sit in different parts of the model. If I were to come in second place after completing a race that I had once gotten first place in, I may feel like I’m going backwards (if I have a performance approach mindset), however, if I have a mastery approach mindset, I may see that I actually beat my previous time by 2 minutes even though I didn’t get first place. On the flip side, we may be more avoidant in what we choose to pursue wondering if we are able to maintain our progress – meaning that we may choose to accomplish easier things because we can set ourselves up for future success by knowing we can beat that previous level. For high achievers who learn how to find growth in any experience, they will most likely take a mastery approach as they will be less likely to believe that you can actually waste time.
So, what’s the point? One, I hope that when we see people who are “characteristically high-achievers,” that we realize their reasons for achieving can vary greatly. If we are those high-achievers, I hope that we can take a moment to become aware of what is driving our achievement. The science shows that those who sit in mastery approach have greater levels of satisfaction over time. For me, understanding this has become the foundation for my desire to have a true growth mindset. It’s been a big part of me learning to be grateful for going through burnout. Past Erika would have seen burnout as a major setback. Current Erika knows it was a necessary journey full of learnings that I need for my next chapter.
Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you avoid feeling “meh” today – in whatever way it plays out for you.