Overachievers & Disney Villains

Growing up, I adored the Disney Princess movies. Like many little girls my age, I wanted to be like the princesses when I grew up. They embodied kindness, resilience, intelligence, and beauty both inside and out.

As a mother to my own 2 little princesses, I’ve been able to rewatch many of these classic movies with my girls.  Imagine my dismay when during a school drop off years ago, I found myself quoting maleficent as I shouted in frustration at those who couldn’t follow the process for the pick-up line!  As a grown up, I’ve found myself unfortunately emulating the feelings of the Villains far more than I am of the heroines. What happened?

My favorite Disney villains are classic overachievers. They set ambitious goals and they go after them with everything they have. Often it takes years of planning. They set smaller goals on their way to bigger goals. They try to form coalitions to make their chances of meeting those goals happen. Along the way, they realize that the “minions” who have joined them in their ambitious goals aren’t as ambitious as they are, or they don’t have as much tenacity as they do, or they simply haven’t caught the vision in the same way. So, after shouting something about being surrounded by “fools” they follow the old adage, “if you want something done right, you do it yourself…” No matter what, they refuse to be swayed from the outcome they want… and eventually this leads to their downfall.

It's far too easy to picture myself cast as a villain in different work projects or school projects I have done. Haven’t we all felt the desire to not let anything get in the way of that promotion or the perfect grade? But if these movies have taught me anything, it is that the villain gets thwarted in the end, right?

So, what are some of the key differences for the Princesses in these tales?

I’ve identified 3 things that I think each of us can emulate to keep ourselves from tipping into villain territory:

Dreaming forward

In her book, Perseverance, Meg Wheatley describes the idea of direction over destination. (I’ve written more about it in another article here if you want to dig deeper.) The overall concept is to embrace the idea of moving in the right direction without overly focusing on the outcome. Yes, we want goals and to be specific, but we shouldn’t be so focused on them that we miss the growth and possibilities that will happen in the journey.  Each of the Disney princesses have some form of a dream. The dream isn’t a very clear goal like the villain’s “dream” (i.e. to take over the kingdom) but is often a dream about a way of being. Most often it’s a dream about a world that is better – a better place for all. In pursuing a direction, they are much more open to the unexpected and possibilities that arise in the journey.

Dealing with uncertainty

Villains are especially bad at dealing with uncertainty. Each villain seems to be managing so many aspects of their plan that once that small thing goes awry, you get the joy of watching them boil over.

Dealing with uncertainty is one the most stressful circumstances we can be in. Whether it be from their own tragic turn of events or not, the princesses seem to have found peace in their uncertain circumstances. They deal with uncertainty by infusing hope into their day to day. In true Disney form, we most often see this hope expressed in song. Guess what? Creativity has been shown to be an effective therapeutic technique for dealing with the stress of uncertain times. Coincidence? I think not. (If you want to read more about creativity and stress check out my article here).

True connections

Finally, one the biggest motivators for the Disney Villains is that they want to be “seen” in some way. They have felt overlooked and ignored and now they want validation. The problem is that by turning inward and seeking public forms of validation, they have locked out the chance for real connections. You do not see the Villains reciprocate the feeling they want so deeply with any of the folks who are trying to help them reach their goals. Honestly, that must be quite lonely.

I’ve always been a fan of the original Snow White film. One of my favorite aspects of the film is how the storytellers get us to like Snow White. If you evaluate her character without any context, she’s kind of boring. She’s innocent, naïve, and honestly, kind of forgettable. As the movie goes on, Disney and his storytellers help you know she’s so much more by how the other characters react to her. The woodsman can’t bring himself to follow the Queen’s malicious orders, the animals are willing to help her find comfort and shelter, the dwarves love her as family after knowing her only a short time. These vibrant and memorable characters use their energy to point us toward the heroine. She never needs to point to herself because those she has loved show us regularly that she is the one to be loved. I love that this is the opposite of the Queen who seeks validation daily in her magic mirror.

There’s a joke about the animal side kick in all of the Disney Princess movies, but the truth is that we see the character of others based on how well they treat those around them. These sidekicks give valuable data. We quickly see which characters care for others and which characters only care about their own objectives. You see, life is not just about what we get done. It’s about how we grow and who we help in the process.

My new test to see if I’m dipping into villainhood has been to ask myself if I let a task that needed to get done become more important than the people who needed to be loved. If the task overtook, it’s time to recalibrate. As much fun as these villains are to watch, I don’t want to become one.

Thanks for reading with me today. I hope you’re able to keep your inner villains at bay this week.