Disco Delights
Yesterday, I discoed for 6 hours…
Ok, it wasn’t a disco the whole time, but we did have a 6-hour dance rehearsal for one of my favorite events of the whole year – an international dance festival called World Folkfest. I’m lucky that this 40-year tradition happens practically in my backyard and for the last 4 years I’ve been a dancer in the host ensemble.
However, last December, while dancing with another group, I had to exit the stage mid-dance because I was on the verge of passing out. As I sat in the dressing room with my head between my knees and my body shaking, I was frustrated and disappointed that my body hadn’t been able to just power through until the end. Before burnout, I had been able to always “push through.” I lived each day with the motto, “the show must go on” and so it was a big blow to my psyche when my body was not going to let me even finish the dance.
Since then, I’ve been slowly working on rebuilding my stamina. This means that being able to boogie down for 6 hours was a big victory. The work took a cumulation of daily small acts and they showed me yesterday that they have been truly rebuilding my strength.
This represents a bigger change in me. For a while, I needed to take time to heal from my burnout. During that time, my capacity was reduced. That was scary for me. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t “do” as much as I once had. In many ways, I thought that I would always be trying to “protect” my energy from here on out. However, in protecting my energy, I was also often holding myself back from growing. I would just say, “I can’t do that” and not even try to stretch. Now, I’m a little better at holding my boundaries (sans the birthday cake debacle last week) AND I try to look for places where I can continue to grow without overdoing it.
For a time, I thought that I would need to bow out of all future periods of intensity. I let myself believe that I had been so broken that I couldn’t handle moments that were going to require a lot from me. While I was healing, there was some truth to that. However, once the healing had run its course, I’ve chosen to not overprioritize being comfortable. Because, let’s be honest, growing is uncomfortable and life will always have moments of intensity.
Instead of being blindsided by moments of intensity, I now go about them intentionally.
I’ve spent months doing daily actions to build my physical strength in the gym and with my nutrition. I’ve also worked to improve my mental strength through study, meditation, and spirituality. My aim has been to build up my resources so that I am able to meet my demands. These are the long-term resources that I want to be able to draw from no matter what.
Knowing that I was approaching an event that would demand even more from me, I also worked to build additional short-term resources. For instance, to prepare for this marathon rehearsal, my bag wasn’t just filled with dance gear this year. It also had electrolytes, extra water, a fan, a hat, a towel, and healthy snacks. During the short breaks at rehearsal, I truly took a break (in the past I would have used the time to keep running the choreography). I sat down, did some breathing and mindfulness exercises, and then was ready to jump back in when it was time.
After the rehearsal, I prioritized recovery. In the past, I would have tried to treat the rest of the day like any other day. I would have pushed through meetings, work assignments, and parenting responsibilities. Yesterday, I stretched, drank more water, spent a lot of time on the couch, and went to bed early. My body and mind were both spent and so I didn’t try to push them into doing more than they could do. The fact that I’m writing this today without the fog of exhaustion is showing me that all of my steps to honor what was needed yesterday have worked. I’m much more cognizant of the resources that I truly need to get things done and I’m better at respecting those needs so that I can keep going.
This middle place, a place where we stretch our capacity without pushing into injury, is the focus for my new methodology – Even Achieving™ and will be what I discuss in my TEDx talk in October. It’s exciting to be the original test case for this methodology. I don’t want to teach something that I haven’t tested for myself after all. 😉 I’m grateful for the wonderful experts who have taught me about well-being, psychology, stress, and performance so that I can pull it altogether into a methodology that both honors where you are while also helping you sustainably grow into more.
For those of you who have read with me today, thanks for coming to the preview of this concept. In the coming months, I’ll be launching more content around the Even-Achieving™ brand, and I’m really excited to continue to hammer out what Even-Achieving™ looks like in our daily lives. Till then, keep reaching for success without leaning into all the stress.